After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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