No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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