What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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