You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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