I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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