her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
