It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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