Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
