You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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