is your mom at the bar?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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