Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
