I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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