Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business

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(702): View more from Nevada

well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?

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(630): View more from Illinois

all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.

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(+32): View more from Belgium

we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump

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(778): View more from British Columbia

He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.

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(850): View more from Florida

If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.

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(254): View more from Texas

And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.

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