we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
