The maid of honor just puked.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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