Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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