its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
