and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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