Hey man sorry I got all grabby
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I have post one night stand depression
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