just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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