I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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