I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
