I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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