hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
