I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
