either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
