Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
