Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
