After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
