No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
