got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
