I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
