I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
