It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
