You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
