that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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