I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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