She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
