tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
