How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
