I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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