To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
