It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
