Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
