If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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