At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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