Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
