@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
