Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
