Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad