You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.