my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
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I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
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Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.