i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hippo gnu deer
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.