Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants