distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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