I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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