Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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