How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
