She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
